Friday, June 22, 2007

The Opportunist and the Container

There is a certain Greek person that we know here that drives me over the edge. He doesn't think twice about imposing, in fact, I think he has mastered the art of shameless imposition. Since the day that he arrived in the U.S. he has relied on my husband to find him a home, a job, friends, cars and more, much more. He is constantly screwing up his life and waits for my husband's advice or help to fix it.
For those of you that know me well, you will probably know of whom I am speaking about, but for the purposes of this blog we will call him N. Before I go into what he is up to now I will give you a list of idiotic and nerve-wrecking behavior that has impacted my family and my every last nerve.

-First, he decided to move to Milwaukee because his mom knew my mother-in-law...not my husband. (can you see where this is headed?)
-He arrives and we drive him around town to look at apartments, nice apartments. He rejects every one of them and finds his own rat hole, complete with drug addict neighbors, the kind that knock on the door for a dollar or two from time to time....and then he complains about it.
-He didn't take a shower for his 1st week here, because he couldn't figure out how to work the shower. Sister-in-law showed him how to TURN THE FLIPPN' HANDLE.
-skip ahead a year or two because some of it might just seem too unreal....
-My husband goes to Greece to visit his family and N. wants to send something along for his mom. He comes over with an antique SILVER TEA SET and a leather trench coat, I am not kidding. It put my husband's suitcase over the weight limit.
-He decides to move to another big city in the U.S. and dares to ask us if we know anyone there that can help him. I stayed out of it. But, my husband gave him a name of someone. He moved there, rented an apartment, rejected a job that our acquaintance offered him and moved back here less than a month later only to arrive at our doorstep needing a place to stay. My son was only 1o days old.
-I will skip another year...
-He buys his mother a curio cabinet because it's a " good deal". My husband has to go get it with his truck. My husband asks how N. is going to send it to his mom. Hmmmmm....he didn't think of that.
He hangs on to it for a year or so and decides to move to another city. He puts the cabinet in storage. (is this still a good deal for him?) That city didn't work out for him either so he comes back here 2 weeks later.
After we tell him that we are moving back to Greece for sure he is struck with a great idea, he can put his mom's cabinet in our container. Never mind that she doesn't live where we are going, but at least it will get to Greece. Hubby tells him that we'll take it only if it fits. N. thinks that it will fit for sure because it's a container, hell if you can fit a car and the contents of a 3 story home into it, surely there will be room for one more piece of furniture. Ever since his great idea he has called every week to talk about it, you know, so we won't forget. Tomorrow my husband will go get the dang cabinet, so it will be here when the movers come and we seriously don't think that it will fit. My husband told him that it is the LAST thing to be loaded and if it doesn't fit...N. will have to figure out how to get it back to his apartment without his help. It's all so annoying.
I feel bad ranting about this but when does it end? I do realize that he is really good to our children and he thinks the world of us, but how doesn't he know that what he does is just out of control? His mom is wonderful to us also and I think that she feels bad for us having to deal with him. I can't wait to see how this turns out. ARRRGGGH!!


  1. I think you are very patient! A friend like that would have driven me through the roof a LONG time ago. I guess I had my share of "needy" friends in my early 20s (some of them addicts, even) and I just can't deal with that kind of relationship anymore. Not to mention, according to psychiatrists it is bad thing always helping people like that - enabling them and not allowing them to work through their own problems. But yea, when people are in need it is hard not help if you can.

  2. Melusina, the kicker is that the man is nearly 40yrs old. I just don't get it. We have actually said no to a lot of his requests but he still persists. Good thing we are leaving!

  3. Cheryl, I have a few choice words for this N. - leech, "L" (if you know what I mean), dependent, ignoramus. He's worse than a child!

    Like Mel, I knew people like this when I was younger. Heck, I still do, but they're not friends and I told them how I felt, so they haven't shown their face. The problem with being a nice, helpful person who can't say 'no' is these people will continue to come back again and again (as you've shown) because it's like a habit and they never learn to depend on themselves if not forced. This is unhealthy for all parties concerned.

    Don't think you've seen the last of him, he may follow you back to Greece if something in his life doesn't work out. After all, his mother knows your MIL.

    Btw, the container is massive. That's bigger than my couch, and I wouldn't think to ask anyone to take it for me. They charge by the sq.ft. when they calculate costs. He owes you some money. And are you expected to keep it at your house? A mover is going to have to pick it up and drive it to his mom's house, and it won't be cheap either.

  4. Kat, we'll see how this turns out. He was here when they loaded the truck and the guys said that there will be plenty of room in the containter. We had him here helping yesterday and he actually did help, although I got into it with him A much so that he said that the only reason he didn't say what he wanted to- was that I was Kosta's wife!@:) Enough said, he didn't need to say anything after that. Some people can't handle the truth. Do I care? Yeah, "L" sums it up!